Talking to Myself

I often talk to myself...
From trivial things like reminding myself to buy some snacks, to long conversations / monologue with myself.

After the passing of two close friends, I spoke to myself while driving home. I asked questions, which will never be answered. I said I missed them, I love them, and I will always hold them close to my heart. I cried, I smiled when recalling the memories with them, which I verbalised out to myself.

It sort of became a closure for myself, though there were many questions which will be unanswered forever. Somehow, it helped me come to terms with their passing in a way.

MOTHERHOOD

MOTHERHOOD
sharing every milestone with them,
marveling at how my babies have grown and learned,
being consoled that they are loving and kind.
MOTHERHOOD
is being surprised with little gifts
made by their little hands
not "perfect", but filled with love.
MOTHERHOOD
is being showered with kisses,
the warmth hugs
and all the “sayang” from them.

Dedicated to someone's whose name means the "sea"

#iJustNeedAClosure #CantWeGoBackToBeingFriends
#留下最美好的回忆 #岁月不留人
#RandomThoughts
我得到了那么多，又如何？应为失去了更多；我失去了你
#愿时光倒流20年 #让我们再认识过
The "sea" means so much to me...
Its horizon, so vast and free...

In the depths of the night... Dedicated to Alger 文海

Dedicated to Alger 文海

In the depths of the night...
The devils came out to play,
Wreaking havoc with my mind,
Bringing me back to yesterday.

#你還是住在我的回憶裡不出來

#‎留下最美好的回忆‬ ‪
#‎岁月不留人‬

#RandomThoughts

My Brave Little Boy, He's Still A Baby After All...

After two nights without mama, you finally let it all out last night.
Mama is so proud of you, my baby boy.
You "took care" of por-por as promised, and you did not cry.
But last night, during bed time, when I said in a jest that I will go to Hong Kong if you do not sleep right now, you immediately became upset and started crying.
You've held it in too long.
Two nights without mama was too much for you.
You cried so pitifully... And mama just held you tight...
You cried, "Don't go to Thailand without the Lucas" "Don't go to Kong Kong without the Lucas Ang"
"Don't go anywhere without the Lucas"
"Lucas is so lonely" "Lucas is so sad" "Lucas is all alone"
Aww... my poor baby...
Mama badly needed some time off, some "me" time, so that Mama can become a better mommy when mama returns from a holiday.

Dear Lord,

Please let me bask in their adoration a little longer,

Hold their hand a little longer,

Cuddle them a little longer,

Kiss them a little longer,

Carry them a little longer...

Support Honest Living #SupportHonestLiving

Dear Cheras peeps...
It's kind of long, so please bear with me...

I'd like to call upon you to please help an elderly uncle selling these Big Sweep lottery tickets make an honest living.
I've often seen him walking around Cheras, or taking the bus, (I met him in Midah, Tmn Segar & Yulek) selling these lottery tickets for many years, and he's now very old and frail, walking in small steps, and probably suffering from osteoporosis (I think) as his neck is bended (and couldn't straighten up). He's rather tanned, skinny and wears glasses.

Please buy a couple of tickets from him, help him make an honest living; or if u have some money to spare, why not tell him to keep the change? One can't really earn much from selling these tickets, right?
Even if u don't gamble, maybe u can offer to buy him a meal ( I tried to offer on two different occasions, but twice he declined), or a drink in this crazily hot weather...

Why do I help him but not the father with a mentally-challenged boy I met last Saturday, u might ask...
Well, he's someone who tries to earn an honest living despite his age and limitations, instead of asking for alms. That's something I applaud.
Secondly, I've seen him making a living selling lottery tickets for over two decades, he's genuine, not like some people going around, leeching off people's generosity.
I can't bear to see an elderly uncle/aunty with his age and frail condition walking around, at the mercy of the weather and crazy traffic, and that's the least I could do, though it may not be much...
I can't imagine my mom or relatives having to go around like this, in their twilight years... :'( 
#SupportHonestLiving

If only...

Dedicated to Alger 文海

Not sure if you could see this...
but today, i was just chatting with my school friend via Skype.
She was the one who gave me your correspondence address when I was 16...
Flashbacks came rushing back.
I was at the tarmac of my school, waiting for assembly.
She came over and passed me the address.
Actually, i had asked her to purchase it for me somewhere.
And that's how we got acquainted.
I had always wanted a pen-pal from China.
It was my dream to go to China or even stay there...
If i'd chased my dream instead of taking the easy way out...
Long distance was scary for a 20-year old, fresh-out-of-school like me...
I lacked the confidence in myself and in you...
If only internet, smartphones and those apps like Viber, Whatsapp, WeChat existed...
if only air travel was cheap...
If only i decided to become a stewardess...
then perhaps my life would be different now.
if only...
if only...
these two words will haunt me forever, and
I have many regrets and this is one of them.

 

Scribblings... 
我的感覺...

I have always been a #‎melancholic‬.
No matter how happy I was, there's always this twinge of sadness in my heart - 

for the people I've loved and lost, 

for the ‪#‎memories‬ that were or never were, 

for the ‪#‎dreams‬ and hopes that were dashed and shattered, 

for the ‪#‎regrets‬ that will never be redeemed, 

for the "I'm sorry"s that were never uttered... 

 ‪#‎HelloAgain‬ ‪#‎留下最美好的回忆‬ ‪#‎岁月不留人‬

The Water is Wide

Dedicated to Alger 文海...

The sea means so much to me,

its horizon, so vast and free...

The water is wide, I cannot get o'er.
And neither have I the wings to fly.
Build me a boat that can carry two,
And both shall row, my love and I.

A ship there is and she sails the seas.
She's loaded deep, as deep can be;
But not as deep as the love I'm in
And I know not if I sink or swim.

I leaned my back up against a young oak,
Thinking he was a trusty tree;
But first he bend and then he broke,
And so did my false love to me.

 I reached my finger into some soft bush,
Thinking the fairest flower to find;
I pricked my finger to the bone,
And left the fairest flower behind.

O love is handsome and love is fine,
And loves a jewel while it's new;
But love grows old and waxes cold,
And fades away like the morning dew.

  Must I go bound while you go free?
Must I love a man who doesn't love me?
Must I be born with so little art?
As to love a man who'll break my heart?

When cockle shells turn silver bells,

Then will my love come back to me;

When roses bloom in winter's gloom,

Then will my love return to me…

Dedicated to Alger 文海

The sea means so much to me,

its horizon, so vast and free... 

 Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny
#RandomThoughts

 只是一份过时的回忆。。。
#RandomThoughts
#留下最美好的回忆

~~~有些人一旦错过就不在。。。
I have you in my heart...

 

♬ 如果可挽留昨天的心意...
#留下最美好的回忆 #岁月不留人
Let's just keep the good memories...
Think of me sometimes, with a smile in your heart, okay? 当你偶然想起我的时候，

希望你会微笑一下 ...
#RandomThoughts

 ♬ 时光倘倒流让我相识你。。。
#忘记你没这麽容易
#RandomThoughts

 好啦，醒咗啦，发癫完了。。。闹够啦。 。
只是我自己的幻想， 自己一厢情愿。原来这是个过时的回忆。过去的早已是过去。。。
#RandomThoughts
You only live in my memory...

 If I could have you back again... 

I often wondered if you ever think about those days of the time we spent together...

 突然懷念你
突然很想 對你講一聲...
對不起...

 You'll always have a special place in my heart...
For me to look back, and remember you,
And remember how you loved me...
你永在我心中...

 I have loved and lost the day I let you go...
#RandomThoughts

 即使不再见面亦会一生一世也想你。。。
All that remains are distant memories...
#RandomThoughts

 ♬ I have loved and lost the day I let you go...
#留下最美好的回忆 #岁月不留人
Let's just keep the good memories...
Think of me sometimes, with a smile in your heart, okay? 

当你偶然想起我的时候，希望你会微笑一下 ...
#RandomThoughts

Somewhere in my memory...
#RandomThoughts

 #RandomThoughts
~~~有些人一旦错过就不在。。。
I have you in my heart...

 One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
#RandomThoughts

 Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry... #RandomThoughts

 唯願與他　這一世活在童話里...

#RandomThoughts

我唔知道 點解你要咁對我 

我只係知道 無論你點對我 我都係咁愛你 

或者你根本無愛過我 甚至恨我  

但係 我仍然永遠永遠愛你...
永没法被淡忘
对不起....  

 目睹你远去

你的脚印心中永印
#RandomThoughts

  

有些事也要過去
我又怎麼能追得回

憾无缺　只差跟你曾遇过

So This Is Bliss - Mei-mei & Little Dragon

#‎SoThisIsBliss‬
‪#‎Bliss‬ is...
Lying on the floor, trying to cool down, and my opportunistic 2-year old toddler came along, saw that, and said, "HUG" and proceeded to crawl onto my chest, and lay down on her tummy, to get some manja-ing from me...
‪#‎iLoveYouToTheMoonAndBack‬ ‪#‎MyPrecious‬ ‪#‎MyLove‬ ‪#‎MyLife‬ ‪#‎MyEverything‬


#‎SoThisIsBliss‬
‪#‎Bliss‬ is...
Pretending to use the Force to open automatic doors with my 3 1/2-year old toddler, and doing it repeatedly until he gets tired of it, ignoring the stares of passers-by.
‪#‎iGila‬ ‪#‎你吹咩‬
‪#‎LoveYouToTheMoonAndBack‬ ‪#‎我的最爱‬ ‪#‎我的生命‬ ‪#‎我的一切‬ ‪#‎WhenYouHaveASiaoMama‬