Memories Are Made of This

I'm a Malaysian and in Malaysia, there are three main races - Malay, Chinese and Indian, as well as other minority races as well. It's a melting pot of culture and customs, so we're exposed to a potpourri of cultures since young.

When I was a kid, I often tagged along with my grandma 外婆 to the wet morning market at Pasar Road ( 半山芭 ). We'd take the Tong Foong Bus No:124 from Cheras Flat. From the bus stop, we'd pass by an Indian stall selling various types of spices that they ground into powder where they will mix and pack it for their customers' different requests - for different curries and such.

The spices are so aromatic and the colours so vibrant. My grandma is long gone and it's been many years since I went to that market at Pasar Road ("pasar" means 'market' in Malay language, and in our localised Cantonese, we call it "巴刹") and I'm not sure if the Indian spice stall is still there. But whenever I smell curry powder and such, I'm immediately reminded of my childhood and the market, the Indian stall and of course, my dearest 婆婆.

(Photo from the internet)

#MyScribblings - Inner Demons

23-04-2021
~ by Carrie

In the wee hours before the break of day,

Your inner demons come out to play,

Your hidden thoughts and deepest emotions they will slay,

While you struggle, keeping your insanity at bay,

At such moments, you fervently pray,

For Him to cast them all away.  

#RandomThoughts

#MyScribblings

*Pictures from the internet

Memories of My Childhood

14-01-2021 - Sometimes, I'm too tired and lazy to read to them during bedtime. And during such days, I'll tell them stories from my childhood. I grew up in Cheras Flats, and at that time, hawkers like the ones in the pix were pretty common. Besides the satay man with a pole and baskets, there was the Chinese curry laksa noodles lady with a similar contraption - we would bring down an enamel mug to da-bao it upstairs for 50¢ or less, sharing it among the three of us, drinking gulps of water after every spoonful of curry laksa noodles 😂 And the Indian kuih man, with a pole and two sets of round aluminium trays and his wide assortment of kuihs. We had a hard time deciding what to try, and we usually settled for the 9-layer kuih or 九层糕, peeling off one layer after another. These were the humble and hard-working folks, who didn't mind the hard work of making an honest living. Those were the days we could leave our house door open and no burglars would come in. Those days, my cousins and I would run downstairs to the shops to buy grape-flavoured ice lollies at 10¢ and Mamee snacks, without worrying about being kidnapped. There was "Meenachi" selling kacang putih in my primary school, using cones made from pages of a telephone directory and it cost 10¢ for a cone, and she'd shape a wider cone for purchases worth 20¢… We could even mix different variety of nuts. We never imagined the telephone directory would be obsolete one day and never thought that the ink on its pages could be toxic, unlike now. 😅 #nostalgia #nostalgic (PHOTOS from https://thoughtmoments.me/2020/02/15/roving-days-of-street-hawkers-over-by-1990/amp/ https://images.app.goo.gl/8FiwZaaB4D2BDyGZ6 )

Paintings... In my mind.

#讓我想起你 #讓我想起我們

#歲月不留人

#RandomThoughts

#遠時光倒流22年

#TheLoveThatNeverWas

(There are things you can see more clearly when you're alone.)
 (And it's not so bad to learn from loneliness.)
 (The less you expect, the calmer your days are.)
(It's painful to genuinely want something.)

"We run at full speed seeking love..."

somewhere at the end of this world."

"But after giving up on that love, we return to where we were in the first place... "

“with all our energy drained from our bodies."

If you...

didn't stay in touch, meet, or even think of meeting...

for 10 long years,

and were like strangers all that time,

can you be sadder...

than someone who spent 10 years with that person?

"When I realised I hadn't had a chance to tell you..."

"that I loved you with all my heart,"

"you were already in love with someone else."

"I silenced the passionate serenade inside my heart..."

"as you drifted far away from me."

"You told me to forget everything..."

"before your smile vanished and only remember your face"

We never had the chance to do this, no matter how hard I wish we had. It only happened in the paintings of my mind…

"When we sat face to face..."

"smiling and talking in front of that tree,"

"our breaths,"

"our laughter,"

"and our stories were permeated in that tree."

"They were permeated so deeply."

"And even after we forget..."

"the fact that we smiled and talked..."

"below that tree,"

"every year in spring,"

"that tree..."

"will remember our laughter,"

"our breaths,"

"and our voices..."

"to produce fresh and green..."

"new leaves."

In Loving Memory of a #ChildhoodFriend, WWK, one whom I have known since we were 17...
And she passed away in 2014, yet memories of our times together in Primary and Secondary school are still so fresh and vivid...

01-April-2019

In my mind, I'm revisiting the memories we've shared.

The jokes, the lamentations, our dreams, our silly crazy jibes at each other.

It still hurts, it still opens the flood gates.

I still miss you, and I will miss you till the day we meet again.

Promise me you will still remember me then, my dearest #ChildhoodFriend <3 span="">

#InLovingMemory

10-Sept-2017

I still have the letters you sent to me,
I still have all the cards,
I still have all the memories,
That I hold so close in my heart...

I still see you in my dreams,
I still think of you all the time,
I want to feel your hands in mine,
Like how we did last time...

#MissingYou my #Childhoodfriend
Those memories of us, I will forever cherish

11-October-2017
Heard the chinese version of this by Hacken Lee, reminds me of the time we sat together, singing this in our falsetto voice, just for fun...
Songs like this evoke memories of yesteryears, I wish we're back in class, I wish we'd hold hands once again, as we talk and share our dreams, our fears, our crushes, our problems...
And as I listen to this again, I can't help being misty-eyed.
Indeed, I miss you, my dear friend. I miss all the memories we shared, and the times we had... #InLovingMemory #ChildhoodFriend

20-November-2016
Indeed, it is...
I will always hold you close to my heart , cherish the memories we shared... do you remember how we used to stroll along the school corridors, arm in arm, chattering and laughing about almost everything, my dear pal?
if I could only hold u one more time, I'd hug you so tightly and never let you go... 😭💔
#iMissYou #MissingYouMostInNovember #ChildhoodFriend


Miss you much, my dear friend...
Gone, but never forgotten. 
Our memories together are deeply etched in my heart. 
I will always remember your smile, your voice, your laughter, your courage and strength...
#iLoveYou #iMissYou

29-November-2014
In tears again... 
Wai Kuan Wong, I just dreamed we're back in our Std 6 classroom, as adults, about to give a talk to the kids, u were in a sleeveless light yellow long dress with small flower motifs (like something fr Somerset or EIC), and this music Waltz of the Flowers, was playing. I came over and asked u, "May I have this last dance with u?" and u gamely agreed. Your hair was shoulder length. 
As we were clowning around, sashaying & waltzing in class, I woke up... 
Is this your way of saying goodbye to me? #ChildhoodFriend #Heartbroken
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxHkLdQy5f0&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR3retwnQ6Y_J4HXG8fLPR6lM0VG8_MpVstwftKLcCFeTmhfW5ZgrtWe3tE 


26-November-2014

Remember we used to write a lot in school, Wai Kuan Wong?
This is specially dedicated to you...

If only we could turn back time...
back to the carefree days of running in the field... 
Giggling, laughing, holding each other's hand...
Mengarut, mencarut & talking about our dreams.

If only we could turn back time...
I would never let you go away...
I would have kept you close...
And be in touch more often....
And yes, screw that "busy" word...

If only i could turn back time...
I would have hugged you tight...
Shared your fears and tears...
And be by your side...
If only...
If only...
If only...

#ChildhoodFriend #UtterlyDevastated #Heartbroken

25-November-2014
In the still of the night, when everyone is asleep, grief overwhelms me and the floodgates open... Wai Kuan Wong, if only u knew how much my heart is aching right now, i grief and mourn with yr beloved family. 
We hv known each other for so long... 1983-2014... 
31yrs of friendship. I thought we'd have many years to come, many years to catch up with each other... 
u were the lovely, radiant bride on yr wedding day, yr dad looked dashing and proud, and yr mom as sweet & pretty as ever... I was happy for you that you found yr true love... U attended my wedding with yr daughter, who looked exactly like u when we were in school, it was a joyful reunion for all of us... When we exchanged messages, u asked ne where is my office and said it's quite near yr new house, and it'd be great to catch up over lunch when u r better... But now... :(
I'll bid u farewell one last time when the morning comes, my dear pal...
u will forever remain and live on in my heart.
Till we meet again at the other side, please know that i will cherish our memories together
Love you, my dearest Wai Kuan.
u were and still are, one of my longest friend.
May God bless your soul and keep you in His grace.

24-November-2014
是雨轻轻的落
是累慢慢的流
是我独自在窗下
思念我们一起走过的日子
:'( 
All the memories we have shared since 1983 is coming back to me now.
Wai Kuan Wong，You left without saying goodbye... And u said we'd meet for lunch... :'(
1-6Abu
1-3E
4Sc2-5Sc2
U hurt yr head in Std One during PE lesson, with blood dripping down yr head, but u were a brave girl, u didn't cry... In Std 4, u were the only one with a computer at home... in Std 6, we had a "fashion show" in class aftr our UPSR... we both sucked at PE, we acted like divas, we hated POL lessons, and competed with each other in English tests... We shared about our crushes, we changed song lyrics and created some silly ones, we perli a junior with "Oh, disgusting!" remark whenever she passed us by in fake English accent... We shared sly smiles during History lessons, esp the one abt the PKM... U wrote me long letters when u were in Nottingham, doing yr degree...
ALL the memories are flooding back and the flood gates have opened. Im crying for the loss of my #ChildhoodFriend #老朋友，一路好走 Missing you right now...